


maria

by esdavid



Category: NCIS, tiva - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Marriage, Paris - Freeform, Romance, TIVA - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esdavid/pseuds/esdavid
Summary: tony gets an unexpected phone call from c.i ray...
Relationships: Ray Cruz/Ziva David, Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	maria

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i’ve always, always, always, always, always, wanted to know how tony was feeling and his reaction when ray told him he was going to propose to ziva. so, i figured i’ll just write it myself :) enjoy my loves <3

the day seemed very ordinary, he would wake, a little breakfast, coffee, go to work, paperwork, maybe a new case, make fun of mcgee, get a head slap from the boss, ~~flirt~~ joke with ziva, eat, go home, sleep, repeat. tony’s life was very much a cycle. there was never an element of surprise in his life - and that scared him.

he was in his mid-40’s, single, no kids, practically no family and a job he’s worked his whole life for and has nothing to show for it. depressing really but he was quite the opposite. 

it was an ordinary tuesday evening when tony got the call. he had just gotten back from work after and endless day of paperwork, he was settled amongst the couch watching _‘west side story’_ and nursing a tepid glass of scotch. 

just as maria and tony were about to meet for the first time his phone started to ring. a reluctant sigh left his lips as he scooped up the remote and turned down his tv. he examined the screen of his phone _‘no called id’_ tony found it sort of odd.

“dinozzo,” he answered a slight gruffness to his tone. 

“agent dinozzo?” a pause. “it’s ray. ray cruz.” oh yes, ziva’s  ~~ boytoy  ~~ boyfriend. 

“c.i ray, what can i do for you?” he replied sarcasm laced throughout his voice, a tinge of jealousy and conflict too.

“well i wanted to ask you something about ziva - you know because you’re like a  _ brother _ to her,” he spoke out.  _ brother.  _ in tony’s mind it was a curse word. he thought about the word often, is that what she really thought of him. 

after everything? _having phone sex?_ the continuous flirting, their very first time undercover, they were practically horny teenagers at that point airing out their sexual tension and desire for one another. _right now you’re thinking of doing page 57 with me._

the fact mcgee wrote a book about them and their unrequited love for one another. _oh come on, it's not about us. i mean the whole part about lisa and her broken heart. the memento she keeps from a relationship that would never have a chance to happen. yeah, where’s he getting that? or the scene between lisa and tommy where they pour out their hearts to each other and spill their secrets._

the concern and worry she held for him during his assignment which was falling in love with a woman that was not her. _straight to voice mail, just like always when he's with her._ the emptiness she felt inside when she saw his car blow up right in front of her eyes. _i don't monitor tony. or a woman with a wayward lover._

and then jenny. the team being disbanded, the two of them being pulled apart to separate parts of the world and not being able to talk or even see each other everyday. _it was inevitable... nothing is inevitable._ the pictures on his wall of her, half-naked, was the first thing he unpacked - the other men on board thought of it as a sexual act but no. it was an act of love. an act of being separated from the one who his heart truly belonged too. _what are those doing on your wall? ...how did those get there?_

then michael. israel. how could she have ever thought he would betray her, he loved her, as she did for him, she wanted to protect him from what happened with jeanne, he wanted to protect her from michael, to protect her from the horrors and trauma her family brought her. _you jeopardise your entire career and for what? for you._

risking his own life and travelling to the horn of africa and deliberately getting captured by a terrorist to avenge her  _death_.  the relief that he not only caught and killed the man responsible but also saved her and brought her back.  home. _couldn’t live without ya, i guess._ the fact that he could not live without her, he was better off dying honouring her than go on living another day missing her. 

paris. j’adore paris. never would they repeat the night they shared together in paris. that would forever be there’s to remember and reminisce on -  _ bogart and bergman will always have paris and  now so will we.  _ he would never admit it but it was almost as if he could still feel her in his arms, her naked back pressed against his naked chest. 

he still kept the picture of her in the draw of his bedside table sitting snug in its frame. black and white. just like she said. because he trusted her, he loved her. love, he loves her. everything that came after paris, the two of them growing so much closer. _i’m tired of pretending. so am i._

“yeah sure.” he reluctantly spoke out. 

“i’m going to ask ziva to marry me.” _‘maria’_ , the tv rang out throughout the apartment, tony’s favourite song from the classic musical. tony wysek angelically sang his love and admiration for his one true love. meanwhile it was as if tony dinozzo’s heart had been physically ripped out of his chest and crushed to dust slowly and painfully. he had to pause and think.

_’i just kissed a girl named maria.’_

ziva was going to get married to a man, who wasn’t him. _heartbreak_ , he wondered. yeah maybe his fiancé left him at the alter, he let emotions cloud his judgement and accidentally fell in love with an arms dealers daughter, maybe the blonde team leader took an effect, but the crazy israeli chick with impulse issues, who was not an emotionless mossad assassin who kills first and asks questions later but a damaged, fragile warrior who has carried this huge weight on her shoulders her whole life.

this is _heartbreak._ real emotional heartbreak, loosing your soulmate, the true essence of your being, the love of your life, your everything. _do you ever think about soulmates?_ her smile flashed through his mind, then her laugh, intoxicating and deadly yet angelic to his ears. 

since when did his cheeks become so wet, since when did his eyes start to overflow like a waterfall. he composed himself to not let out a cry or maybe even a scream. save that for the pillow tony. _dinozzo men don’t cry._

__ ’and suddenly i’ve found how wonderful a sound can be.’ _ _

and yet here he was a blubbering mess. “ _tony?_ ” his name snapped him out of his trance. 

“that’s... _great!_ ” he lied. his voice couldn’t help but crack in mourning of his true beloved. “congratulations!” _lie._

 _”_ thank you. _”_ ray responded grateful , “i just wanted some help on how i should do it, you know, ziva is...” _beautiful. kind. amazing. spectacular. fierce. loving. a true warrior._ “special.” 

“you can say that again.” his mouth couldn’t help but twitch into a smile thinking of her. _handle with care._ “just don’t go too overboard, ziva... she just needs to know that you care, and that she can trust you and show her that you’ll love her unconditionally.” his cheeks become wetter. _contents priceless._

then he got to thinking, how would tony dinozzo propose to ziva david? a small and soft diamond pavè ring, gentle diamonds decorating the band. nothing to gaudy but enough to show the love he has for her. maybe he would do it in front of the hotel where she confided in him about tali. maybe paris, ziva loves paris. or maybe when they’re lay in bed together, tangled limbs and sheets. he can’t stop the overflowing soliloquy falling from his lips as he recites how he loves her in so many different ways and then asks her the most important question. 

it doesn’t matter where or how because it would be perfect no matter what because it would be the two do them. against the world. then again it doesn’t matter at all because he wasn’t the one that was going to pop that important question. 

_‘maria! say it loud and there’s music playing. say it soft and it’s almost like praying.’_

“i will do, i promise.” ray spoke. “i just need one more thing... i know how... _important..._ you are to ziva, and i was just... wondering,” he cleared his throat abruptly. 

“you have my blessing.” tony needed not to hear what ray was going to say next because he knew. although tony knew ziva deserved so much better than him, she deserved the whole world and if tony could give her that he’d do it in a heart beat. 

all he wanted was for her to be happy and for some strange reason that tony couldn’t fathom, ray made her happy. ~~his~~ ziva was happy. he took a deep shaky breath still trying comprehend all the information given to him. “thank you tony, seriously.” 

he was genuine, “it’s no problem.” tony finished his glass of scotch burning the back of his throat trying to numb the pain. 

“i have to go but don’t tell ziva or anyone please i want it to be a surprise.” tony obliged and short farewells were exchanged. his phone was placed back onto the coffee table in front of him alongside his empty glass. he then picked up the remote turning off the tv completely, not bearing to listen to that awful musical anymore. 

collecting the glass he strode to the island in his kitchen and grabbed the bottle of scotch. _another can’t hurt, maybe it can dull the pain?_ he refilled his glass without a second thought. moving over to the window he swirled the dark liquid in his glass taking a sip here and there. 

_‘maria! i’ll never stop saying, maria.’_

looking out a the skyline he was given time to think about his own life - _what was he doing with it?_ he let out a shaky sigh and swallowed another mouthful letting the bitterness burn him. _ziva david do you really consider me to be, in your life?_

to say he was tired was an understatement. tired of what though? life? work? women? he started to overthink every decision he had ever made in his life as he refilled his drink over and over again until he finished the bottle. 

the depressed persona tony now took was about to open another bottle of scotch when his phone stopped him. 

**ziva david:** guess who has just called? he’s flying home next week. 

tony’s heart sank at her name yet felt some sort of happiness for her, she was clearly excited to see him, _maybe she really loves him?_

 **tony dinozzo:** the return of c.i ray.

it didn’t take her long to reply. 

**ziva david:** stop calling him that. 

**tony dinozzo:** can i ask you something? 

this was his chance, he would ask her the dreaded question and if depending on her answer depended on the fate of their relationship. _like it was meant to be?_

 **ziva david:** i’m scared but go on...

 **tony dinozzo:** do you love ray? 

ziva didn’t respond for awhile, i mean could you respond quickly to a message like that - but i suppose if you did love someone you would answer immediately without a doubt in your mind. 

**ziva david:** i do not know if i am ready to love and be loved. yes what me and ray have is special and i suppose in some ways i do love him... but i guess i’m scared of being... let down, again.

 **tony dinozzo:** but surely not this time, he’s a great guy, and you guys have been together a while now and he so clearly loves you even though he may have a hard way of expressing it. 

he felt sick writing that message because he didn’t mean any of it. all he wanted was her to love him in the same way he loves her. 

**tony dinozzo:** you’ve got to give yourself a chance to love ziva, letting your guard down doesn’t make you weak it makes you strong and you are one of the strongest people i know.

on the other side of the phone zivas grin was huge, she smiled at his message. he always found a way to make her feel better - to make her feel less alone and she loved that about him. _when did you become an expert on love?_ one thing she knew for sure, without a doubt in her heart and mind is that she loves tony. 

**ziva david:** goodnight tony

 **tony dinozzo:** goodnight ziva

tony wasn’t quite sure how ziva had taken his words but as along as she’s happy, _i suppose._ he took another look at his phone and then to his empty glass, _do the right thing tony._ and he did, he took his glass to the sink and headed to his bedroom. 

he stripped off the work clothes of the day and into some comfortable clothes and climbed into bed. setting his alarm for the next morning he sighed wondering if the day would bring anything new, _one can hope._

he open his desk drawer and saw her, his picture of her, he smiled. _apparently mcgee thinks ziva’s in love with me._


End file.
